wednesday night, february 27

i was driving to drop off some extra clothes at the hospital for mom today, and i felt like God almost stopped me in my tracks and quickly replayed many moments over the last weeks to me in my mind;

how thankful we are that dad is still with us. it was just a few weeks ago that we were uncertain of whether we'd ever be able to talk to him again, hear his jokes, see his smile, and tell him how much we love him. we begged and pleaded for his life to be spared, and God has granted our desires.

he is doing well. he actually looks really great in spite of the trauma in his body. i told him that in lieu of what's happened, he looks twenty years younger in his face (minus the hair shade). he looked at me like i had two heads. he's thoroughly exhausted and quite a bit troubled at the heaviness of his present reality. but he's thankful, as well. he knows the depravity of what happened to him and what faces him in the near future. it still doesn't make the pill easier to swallow. especially the horse pill called dialysis.

he's had a low grade fever for weeks now, and they've hit it heavy with antibiotics, but it remains. so they decided to remove the dialysis catheter to see if it was the source. they'll reinsert another catheter tomorrow afternoon, which they'll have to sedate him for. hopefully this will make his temp come down.

therefore, he won't be having a dialysis treatment tomorrow (as planned). his kidney levels were at their all time high yesterday and day before yesterday, so it makes us nervous that he won't be doing dialysis tomorrow because we don't want his levels to skyrocket even more (for obvious medical reasons). his creatinine was in the 10's and his BUN was in the 140s. he has been receiving more temporary drugs for sleep and cognizance this week, so i'm assuming they might be what made his levels rise (b/c his kidneys can't filter the drugs on their own), but the main point is that they've risen. we need them to be in the 30's-40s (bun) and the 2's-4's (creatinine). continue to pray. it's still feasible that his kidney(s) will activate themselves and the millions of filters they contain. so do NOT stop praying towards this end. it would devastate dad to be on dialysis for months or years. let's just say that dialysis is his arch rival. it's his lifeline yet simultaneously his nightmare.

he got moved into a bigger room today. he's "healthy" enough that he doesn't need to get a room in the ccu anymore. thank the Lord. his previous room was about an 8 x 10, and his new room is double the size. when they rolled him in there, he said, "i guess i didn't realize how small that room really was until now." it will help him breathe a little easier and not feel so claustrophobic and stressed.

he read through some of the comments, cards, and emails mandy compiled for him today. let's just say that tears were abounding. i can only imagine the encouragement and love they brought to his heart. i could tell by the look in his eyes that they meant more than we could ever understand. keep them coming. he'll need all the encouragement he can get in the near future. he'll count on you all as sustenance through these next big speed bumps towards his recovery.

visitation: he still wants just mom and his kids. completely understandable. it might be a long while before he's up to anyone else, but don't let that dissuade you from knowing how much your concern, support and love mean to him. i know you all just want him to get better, so whatever that entails, we're all up for it!